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Biography

Born in Hull in the early 1960s and brought up in Stockton-on-Tees, John has been writing professionally for the whole of the 21st century. He went to Ian Ramsey School, Stockton 6th Form college and has a BA(hons) in English and History from Newcastle Poly and a degree in Getting Your Sorry Ass Through Life Somehow from the University of Northern Stoicism.
He has never had a salaried job, creating his own work over the years including running a fashion design studio, making knitwear and tapestries and from 2001 to 2012 running the massively popular and successful t-shirt design and retail business www.djtees.com.
In 2000 he began writing columns for football365.com; to this day one of the most widely read, consistently influential and innovative football web sites. His work quickly gained notoriety for its off-beat nature and long rambling stories with a bit of football tagged on at the end. Some hated it, some loved it, neither were slow to let him know. 13 years on, his columns are as divisive as ever, have never been more popular, and are read by tens of thousands of people each week.
John has also worked for the Daily Record, The Mirror and many other publications and web sites. After a restless life which has seen him and his partner Dawn live in over 20 different places in 30 years, including stints in Laguna Beach and Las Vegas. He now resides in a lofty New Town Edinburgh apartment. His only claim to fame is to have repeatedly assualted Johnny Vegas with a chair for the amusement of 500 people and to have been told to f**k off by Phil Lynott.
In 2006 Footy Rocks was published; a compilation of 50 of his best and most controversial columns from his first six years on football365.
In 2010 he had ‘We Ate All The Pies’ published by Biteback Publishing. A paean to Britain’s love of football, he jumped up and down, made whooping noises and went a funny colour when it made the long list for the prestigious William Hill Sports Book Of The Year prize.
In 2012 he had ‘The Meat Fix’ – How 26 Years Of Healthy Eating Nearly Killed Me also published by Biteback Publishing. A highly personal and at times graphic and gory book, it is an excoriating and yet very funny account of what we think is healthy eating and why. Now also published in USA, Canada and Australia, it has gained much national media attention including major features in The Independent, The Mail and The Sun accompanied by photos of him looking slightly nauseous, as well as being featured on The Steve Wright Show on BBC Radio 2.
2013 saw John’s first three works of fiction published by Head Publishing. The Nick Guymer series are crime novels set on Teesside and in the north of England. They’ve been described as, ‘quintessential Nicholson; original, passionate, funny and emotional,’ and also as ‘more crap from that twat.’ In 2014 he went a bit crazy, writing the fourth, fifth and sixth in the Nick Guymer series as well as the first in a new series set in California, ‘The Girl Can’t Help It.’
People keep asking him how he writes so much to which he replies, “by total, complete and utter dedication, writing 12 hours a day, everyday, of every week, of every month and also by judicious use of nootropics.”
When not writing he drinks strong black coffee, worries about his hair, listens to vinyl records and dances in an undignified manner for a man of his age. He has paid the cost for wanting things that can only be found in the darkness on the edge of town.